Kanuckistani Forces backgrounder (cont’)

These KFC outlets and activities are complimented by a large contingent—over a million strong—of Kanuckstani patriots on the ground, living, working and studying in communities across America. Kanuckistani patriots have infiltrated the enemy to the South by way of a number of deceptions.

Some have gone across on sports scholarships at some of that country’s institutions of higher learning. With the formerly all-Kanuckistani NHL too obvious a choice, our patriot brothers have begun to learn other sports such as baseball and basketball in a series of training facilities both here and in the southern US on the pretext of clement weather.

As a result, numerous Kanuckistanis have begun to infiltrate major professional sporting leagues, not least of which the NFL, the NBA, and Major League Baseball. During out-of-town games and tournaments, Kanuckistani patriots rendez-vous with their brothers in arms to exchange field intelligence, pass along instructions, and in some cases, to exchange materiel.

Borrowing the best of their jihadi comrades from around the world, each cell of Kanuckistani patriots—the employees of a KFC outlet in Grand Rapids Michigan, the members of a cycling team in Sunrise Arizona, the Candy Stripers at the M.D. Anderson in bible-loving Houston, the acting troupe in LA—have been given broad objectives—Death to the Great Satan to paraphrase brother Khomeini—but with the precise details of the mission’s execution left up to them. This cell structure is designed to protect the overall mission should a cell be captured or its members find themselves too much in the public eye.

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