Saddened by the loss (though self-implosion might be a better term) of Comrade Bernard Kerik before Christmas, we have been busy moving forward with alternate plans.
The ‘revelations’ on Comrade Kerik were of course to have been expected, but the plan had been for them to come light only after his confirmation as Secretary for Homeland Security to achieve maximum scandal, and only after we had been able to drain the American Treasury (before Bush does it first).
We had invested a lot of time and effort in Comrade Kerik, securing the services of our best doctors (to modify Kerik’s appearance so as to resemble that of our greatest fallen comrade – see pictures), linguists (who taught him fugeddaboutit and other New Yorker terms) and businessmen (including the resourcefulness of Comrade Gagliano, who made a special return from Denmark to provide Comrade Kerik with best practices for corrupting bureaucracies, infiltrating the party into the government apparatus, and siphoning kickbacks on federal contracts.)
That is not to say that we have not been busy. Expect results from our latest efforts to appear in major news channels in the very near future.